“In a battle, the winners and the losers both lose.”
~ the buddha
competition is often grounded in fear.
I’ve been competitive my whole life, and it most cases, it’s been highly rewarded. but over time, and in facing the inevitable humility that comes with thirty something years of life, I’ve realized there’s something awful about it.
when I really looked at it, my youthful layers of healthy confidence were mixed with a kind of arrogance overlaying what often came across as sharpness or anger, and at it’s core was fear. of not being good enough somehow, mostly (which is why we can start with befriending ourselves). every high-achieving person I’ve ever known well has expressed some sort of fear of being exposed as not being good enough, no matter how absurdly high they had climbed on some external ladder.
maybe it’s time to stop high-fiving each other about how competitive, tough, and driven we are are and instead reward ourselves and each other for having the courage to set it down and sort through our fear for a minute. from there, rather than our drive to be better than someone else or ourselves, perhaps our passion can be the source of our shine.
related bonus: what do we do with insecurity